Oh, the weather outside is frightful, especially when a white-furred creature, covered in frozen flesh and blood, is chasing you through the snow-covered hills of Canada in Snow Beast (2011), directed by Brian Brough.
Three researchers and one rebellious daughter arrive in Canada to study wildlife – yet something has gobbled up every hare and lynx in sight! What could’ve done this?! Only when this question has been asked does the snow beast emerge slowly from the snow, eager to begin the chase for his next meal.
The origin of this snow beast, unfortunately, is never explained. Did he, like one character suggest, board a plane from Tibet and travel to Canada? Is he a genetic mutation? (Personally, I’d like to think he is a distant relative of the wampa from Hoth.)
Mr. Snow Beast is ape-like; he has white-fur, sharp teeth, and a KILLER slap/punch combo! He spends his days barreling through the woods, searching for lost snowboarders, destroying snowmobiles, and dragging frozen corpses back to his snow den.
His diet consists of hare and lynx – Mr. Snow Beast, it seems, would rather punch his human victims and drag them several miles to his home than devour their tasty flesh. Not one victim had a bite-mark – instead of being consumed, Marci (Kari Hawker-Diaz) was frozen into a wall and Rob (Paul D. Hunt), who was gut-punched to death, was left to freeze on the chilly ground.
Instead of devouring Jim (John Schneider), head of the research team, the beast delicately placed him into the snow cave, covered him with freshly-fallen snow, and left him, like Rob, to freeze. Jim, left outside in freezing temperatures for an entire day, should’ve shown signs of hypothermia. But when Emmy (Danielle Chuchran), his daughter, discovers him, Jim awakens, feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to run!
I expected an epic battle between researchers and the beast – instead, I received an anti-climactic ending, where Jim and Emmy, armed with their flare gun, bury the snow beast in an avalanche. Oh, and they don’t even make sure the beast is dead – they just leave, hand-in-hand, smiles plastered on their unflawed faces.
Boredom is what I experienced while watching Snow Beast – there is nothing horrific about an ape-like beast lumbering around Canada, bitch-slapping people and snarling occasionally.
If you want a campy monster movie, don your deerstalker, cozy up in a cabin, grab some cocoa, and watch Snow Beast.
To watch the trailer, click here.
The Horror Movie Maniac 