Archive for May, 2014

Directed by Kimo Stamboel and Timo Tjahjanto, Macabre, an Indonesian horror film, will leave you emotionally scarred.

It all begins when five friends meet Maya (Imelda Therinne), a strange woman, and offer her a ride home. Once they reach Maya’s incredibly creepy home, she pushes them to come in and meet her mother, Dara (Shareefa Daanish). After eating Dara’s poisoned dinner and being hauled away to the torture basement, the friends have to fight for their very lives.

And yes, Macabre is a slasher because there were guts and blood in every single scene! Most of the characters are either cut with knives or ripped apart with a chainsaw. (To be honest, this movie could have had more creative “gore” methods.)

All of the characters were pretty stupid; however, Ladya (Julie Estelle), Jimmy (Daniel Mananta), and Eko (Dendy Subangil) take the cake. In one scene, these three characters just stare at Maya, who is loading her crossbow, instead of running away! Seriously? Why would you just sit and stare at a murderous woman? Run away!

And Dara, the insane mother, will crawl under your skin and stay there, and after a while, yes, you will begin to hate her. Ugh, I just hate her, and she never dies! (This character ruined the entire movie for me.)

Macabre

Overall, it is incredibly difficult to watch Macabre.

To watch the trailer, click here

Directed by José Mojica Marins, Encarnação do Demôni, or Embodiment of Evil, is a Brazilian horror film that focuses solely upon torture, nudity, fingernails, and conception.

After serving 40 years in prison, Coffin Joe (José Mojica Marins) is released, and now this horny psychopath immediately wants to begin continuing his bloodline. In order for him to do this, though, Coffin Joe needs women, so Bruno (Rui Rezende), Coffin Joe’s faithful servant, and four other sadistic followers begin kidnapping beautiful women and hauling them down to Coffin Joe’s creepy basement.

These kidnapped women are then introduced to Coffin Joe, whose “winning” features would be his piercing eyes, bristly beard, and six-inch grotesque fingernails. (Because he is such the looker, I am surprised he had to brainwash so many women.)

Look at those fingernails!

Look at those fingernails!

Dr. Hilda (Cléo De Páris), his first torture victim, allows Coffin Joe to cut off one of her butt cheeks, and afterwards, she eats it. Other torture victims were whipped, drowned in beetles, stowed in rotten pig carcasses, or covered in burning cheese and fed to rats.

Another gruesome instance happens when Coffin Joe, after scalping an innocent woman, pulls the loose skin over her eyes. His reasoning? He wanted to spare this woman from watching the terrible things that were taking place right in front of her.

And yes, Coffin Joe does fulfill his lifetime goal of conceiving a child. Not just one child, though. Nine women, bellies round, come to his funeral, and each woman looks absolutely pissed.

Overall, Encarnação do Demôni is a truly unsettling film filled with blood, breasts, and mayhem.

To watch the trailer, click here.

“Lights Out,” directed by David Sandberg, is an absolutely terrifying short film. It is amazingly creepy, and afterwards, you may want to leave the lights on all night. (I know I did.)

In only three minutes, “Lights Out” provides a startling story, a creepy atmosphere, and a shocking ending. (That ending made me shriek a little bit!)

So, cuddle up, turn on ALL the lights, and prepare to watch “Lights Out.”

Penny Dreadful

Penny Dreadful, created by John Logan, is absolutely brilliant, and in the pilot, Logan introduces us to four critical characters: Ethan Chandler (Josh Hartnett), womanizer and gunslinger; Vanessa Ives (Eva Green), spiritualist; Sir Malcolm Murray (Timothy Dalton), a man frantically looking for his daughter; and Victor Frankenstein (Harry Treadaway), creator of life.

During the pilot, two gruesome murders occur, and while many of the townspeople believe Jack the Ripper has come back, the murderer is never found, leaving the audience eagerly awaiting the next episode.

Another essential occurrence begins when Murray’s daughter, Mina, is kidnapped. Murray and Ives hire Chandler, an actor and gunslinger, to help them battle nightmarish creatures and locate Murray’s daughter.

One scene, in particular, is incredibly gruesome, and it is when Chandler comes face-to-face with three murderous vampires. While Chandler, stunned and confused, is shooting them, blood splatters everywhere, and finally, after Murray has had enough, he sticks a hook through one of their faces. (Even though it is gory, this scene is fantastic.)

And if you want a side of emotion, Penny Dreadful has it covered, especially when Victor Frankenstein meets his creation for the first time. Ah, it is a touching scene, and I must say, it is extremely beautiful.

Overall, Penny Dreadful is loaded with gore, humor, and horror. I mean, what else could you possibly ask for and want? And I guarantee it will keep you intrigued and fascinated from the very start!

To watch the trailer, click here

The Toybox, directed by Paolo Sedazzarai, begins when Berenice (Claudine Spiteri) brings her boyfriend, Conrad (Craig Henderson), home for Christmas. And it is here that we meet four more important characters: Madeline (Suzanne Bertish), the alcoholic and horny mother, Rod (Christopher Terry), the “comedic” father, Eleanora (Heather Chasen), the bitter grandmother, or Brian (Elliott Jordan), the insane brother.

With all other characters aside, let’s discuss Brian. All throughout the film, Brian can be seen hanging out in the garage, looking after his rapid rats and fantasizing about his sister. Oh, and becoming the scapegoat for Grandpa Alan’s (Russell Barnes) porn stash, which scarred Brian for life.

Brian also believes himself to be the reincarnation of Jake the Midfolker, who paints a smile upon his face and murders people with a hook. (I bet you can’t guess what Brian did near the end of the movie once he went insane!)

And Berenice is supposed to be the only person who can stop Brian, or Jake the Midfolker, from killing their family, seeing as she is the reincarnation of a mystical witch. However, she doesn’t try to fight back at all; she merely screams, which attracts attention, yes, but doesn’t solve anything.

Seeing as Berenice is the reincarnation of this witch, shouldn’t she have special powers? I mean, yes, she carries around this strange-looking amulet, but she never does anything with it. Frankly, the amulet only acts as a nightlight, emitting some weak rays of light when Berenice utters an annoying chant.

Since this movie is called The Toybox, shouldn’t it contain more scenes with an actual toybox? One scene, which includes a toybox, begins when, after he throws Berenice into the toybox, he proceeds to drop his ravenous rats all over her. However, this scene does contain a glaring issue because once Berenice is pulled out of the toybox and saved, she has no injuries. (If fifteen hungry rats are dropped onto you and then you are locked in a cramped box with them, I’m pretty sure you would receive injuries.)

Also, why did we need the background information on Grandpa Alan and his porn addiction? It didn’t add to the story, and it was weird to learn how Berenice had walked in on him wanking. (I don’t think we needed that information in a horror movie.)

Overall, The Toybox was not the “darkly-humored, psychologically disturbing slasher” that Hulu promised. Instead, this movie revolves solely around unexplained concepts, folklore, and wanking.

To view the trailer, click here

Apartment 1303 3D, directed by Michael Taverna, begins when Janet (Julianne Michelle), after she moves into her new apartment, meets Jennifer (Kathleen Mackey), dead girl, who proceeds to throw Janet off the balcony. After Janet’s death, her sister, Lara (Mischa Barton), visits the apartment, and attempts to solve the mystery.

The character development is absolutely terrible! Janet is cowardly and weak, and Lara, who attempts to be strong, can be viewed only as insane and annoying. Oh, and Maddie (Rebecca De Mornay), their alcoholic and abusive mother, is a complete basket case! This mother is only capable of completing two various tasks: drinking or yelling.

It is slightly ironic that Taverna chose to portray the mother as the most hated character, seeing as Apartment 1303 3D’s theme revolves around the bond between mother and daughter. Lara, the poor girl, despises her mother; she even wished, during one scene, that her idiotic mother would die.

We begin to see the mother-daughter relationship come into play again when we learn about the apartment’s first tenants: Jennifer Logan and her mother. Jennifer killed her mother and lived with her corpse for six months until she finally jumped to her death. Seeing as they never wanted any other individual to live in their room (1303), they throw every person who attempts to live there off the balcony.

Nothing too scary ever happens, which is a shame. Jennifer, pale white and ghostly, only thumps her head on the balcony door, and a few shadows arrive here and there. (I will say, though, that when Janet becomes scared, her bottom lip looks as if it will quiver off her face!)

Oh, there are two more unimportant characters: the superintendent (Gordon Masten) and Emily (Madison McAleer). One is a complete pervert, while the other only shouts, “Get out and never come back.” Can you guess which is which?

And the ending is absolutely terrible because nothing is solved, and the ghost is not stopped. Instead, Lara is blamed for all deaths, while Jennifer, the pathetic ghost, continues to chill on the balcony, hair swaying in the end.

Overall, Apartment 1303 3D stinks like the rotting flesh on Jennifer’s dead mother.

To watch the trailer, click here.

Dark Touch, directed by Marina de Van, begins when Neve (Missy Keating), an abused child, cries bitter tears and horrifically slaughters her mother and father. Lucas (Padraic Delaney) and Nat (Marcella Plunkett), two loving parents, graciously take Neve in. However, due to Neve’s mental powers and past history, she does not change, and eventually ends up killing Lucas, Nat, and numerous children.

Neve was consistently abused by Henry (Richard Dormer) and Maud (Catherine Walker), her parents. Dark Touch did, I believe, complete prior research on how an abused child, like Neve, should act. Neve never became attached to Lucas and Nat, her caregivers, and she never wanted to be touched or held.

Nat, the motherly figure, tries hard to love Neve. She buys her “little kitten” beautiful clothes and attempts to hug Neve. Yet love does not prevail, and one night, after Neve leaves the house and wanders around town by herself, Nat becomes frustrated and makes the ultimate mistake: she slaps Neve. After that encounter, Neve now considers Nat an abuser, and hurts her.

And this leads us into one of the most disturbing scenes from Dark Touch, where Neve, and two other children, slowly torture Nat and Lucas. With crushed limbs and no way to escape, Nat and Lucas are forced to eat dinner while Neve sets the house on fire. The audience is subjected to listen to horrible screams from Nat and Lucas as they are murdered by a young girl they only wanted to love as one of their own.

The other unsettling scene happens when Neve attends a friend’s birthday party. Whilst there, Neve watches the girls “play” with their dollies. (The word “play” here means abuse.) Plastic dolls have their eyes gouged out, their heads ripped open, their clothes destroyed, and they are smacked and slapped cruelly. To me, this scene is horrifically alarming, and it left me with a terrible feeling in my gut.

Overall, Dark Touch is a troubling film which explores the dark themes of abuse and neglect, and how it affects children.

To watch the trailer, click here

Truth or Die, directed by Robert Heath, shows the frustrating tale of five teenagers who, just for the booze, arrive at a small cabin for a birthday party only to discover that the birthday boy has killed himself, and his psychotic brother wants revenge.

In order to seek that revenge, Justin (David Oakes), the insane brother, ties everyone up, and makes them play an unsettling and disturbing version of, you guessed it, Truth and Dare.

If you choose “Dare,” Justin decides to play dirty; he asks his victim to choose either the left container or the right container. One, he said, holds tap water, and the other, battery acid. Gemma (Florence Hall) received the tap water, while Chris (Jack Gordon), an underdeveloped character, received the battery acid. His death was the most dramatic; it was bloody, twitchy, and unsettling.

However, Truth and Die is extremely infuriating because Eleanor (Jennie Jacques), a complete bitch and the reason Felix (Tom Kane) killed himself, survives, while the others characters, who were somewhat innocent, were all murdered.

Does anyone else see the issue with this situation? Eleanor drives away into the sunset, free, while Gemma lies in the backseat with a broken neck and Luke (Alexander Vlahos), drug dealer, lies impaled on a pitchfork with a missing pinkie finger. (Eleanor bit it off.)

Oh, Paul (Liam Boyle), Eleanor’s boyfriend, is allowed to survive, too. Even though he received a terrible gunshot to his leg and had a few fingers blown off, he seemed to be doing just fine throughout the film. (He even had the strength to lift up Gemma’s lifeless body and place it into the escape vehicle with him.) I mean, should he really be this strong after losing so much blood?

Also, if Justin kept referencing his Father, why didn’t his Father show up? Shouldn’t he have been lurking around the old house, seeing as he knew that his son was playing a twisted game and torturing some teenagers?

Truth and Die actually had me shouting at the television because, when you think about it, absolutely NOTHING is solved. Eleanor, the antagonist, escapes, and everyone else dies. What kind of bogus movie is that? Couldn’t you at least have given the other characters a chance?

If you want a frustrating film, watch Truth or Die.

To watch the trailer, click here.

The Crying Dead, directed by Hunter Williams, portrays the “terrifying” night that a paranormal reality cast and crew spent in an abandoned hospital (in the middle of nowhere, of course), and one by one, they slowly begin to die.

Chris (Chris Hayes) and Callie (Callie Cameron) are the two characters that make me absolutely despise this movie. Chris, paranormal cast leader, has severe anger issues; he continuously blames other members for “fucking” with him, and yells and screams up a storm. Callie, the skeptic, can be summarized in two words: horrible actress.

I mean, why can’t we EVER have decent characters in a horror film?

This film is also riddled with countless issues. For instance, when Becka (Becka Adams), the producer, goes missing, not one single character bothers to rewind the tapes that have been filming! (Chris even reminds them that if anything happened in the abandoned hospital, the tapes would have caught it. Really? You can’t even both to check the tapes?!)

Another issue revolves around the abandoned hospital’s history; it’s jam-packed! (I am guessing Williams couldn’t decide upon only one storyline.) Here is a complete list (I think) of the hospital’s history:

  • The hospital was used to quarantine tuberculosis patients.
  • Three little girls burned to death in the boiler room.
  • A young man cut up his nurse and threw himself out the window.
  • The hospital performed horrible experiments on patients.

I also wish this film explained why the three little girls were evil, and crawled around. True, I understand why the abused patients would seek revenge, but why the three young girls who were killed in an accidental fire? (Unless it wasn’t an accident?) Come on, Williams! Please try to provide some kind of backstory!

And yes, I already knew I would despise The Crying Dead because it is a “found-footage” film. There are extremely pointless scenes where we only are shown empty hallways and specks of dust…so spooky.

The Crying Dead is horribly horrendous, and Chris would agree because he’s always “fucking serious.”

To watch the trailer, click here.

Freakshow, directed by Drew Bell, tells the tale of five terrible thieves who, with the help of Lucy (Rebecca Kochan), their scantily-clad leader, try to outsmart Lon (Christopher Adamson), their boss, and take his money.

As I watched this film, though, I discovered that the four other thieves, all men, were extremely unimportant; they only smoked cigarettes, drank beer, humped Cannibal Girl, and stole some circus food. (Great thieves, huh?)

Because these other thieves were completely useless and ignorant, it was, unfortunately, up to Lucy to steal Lon’s money. While I didn’t particularly like Lucy, I must give her credit, though, for having the continuous strength and endurance to actually try and accomplish her goal.

But no matter how many times Lucy flashed Lon or offered him a quick blowjob, she never stole Lon’s money or left the circus. No, instead she was butchered brutally and transformed into the Worm Girl.

Now, this scene was quite disturbing because the audience must watch Lucy being tortured by Lon’s family of circus folks, which included: Curtis the Dwarf, the Strongman, Cannibal Girl, the Bearded Lady, and the Human Shadow. Lucy, in order to become Worm Girl, loses her tongue, her eyelids, her fingers, her toes, and her organs; she is also skinned alive because Lon’s family tries to make her look like a slippery worm.

However, in order to actually view this graphic scene, one must wait until the VERY end of the movie, which means an audience member must suffer through 90 minutes of breast shots and various carnival scenes…oh, and pointless conversations between various characters.

Freakshow would have been much better if Bell had placed more gory scenes throughout the film instead of placing only one at the very end. This way, audience members would be more enticed, and would probably want to finish the movie.

Oh, and don’t use so many damn shots of Ferris Wheels! Yes, they are wonderful and reminiscent of childhood, but why must every third scene contain one? (Did the circus have no other rides?)

Freakshow should have stayed away from adding constant sexual encounters. (Yes, a movie CAN be made without constant breast scenes!) Perhaps Bell could have focused more upon the actual storyline instead of lusting over Lon and Lucy scenes?

If you want a boring movie filled with breasts and Ferris Wheels, then Freakshow is the horror movie for you!

To watch the trailer, click here.