Archive for March, 2015

How would you feel if a loved one, perhaps your daughter, caught a deadly virus and, in a matter of weeks, transformed into a ravenous zombie? What would you do? This is exactly what is running through Wade’s (Arnold Schwarzenegger) mind as his daughter, Maggie (Abigail Breslin), begins her “zombification” in Maggie, an upcoming horror movie directed by Henry Hobson.

Can Maggie be cured? Can she be saved? (I know that Wade won’t kill his own daughter, seeing as he promised her mother to always protect her.) But with Maggie’s aggression and hunger levels rising, what can he do?

Maggie looks fantastic; the actors were well-chosen, and the preview’s music gave me chills. I cannot wait until this movie comes to theaters!

Before I Wake, an upcoming horror movie directed by Mike Flanagan, will be released on May 8th, 2015.

According to IMDB.com, this film will revolve around “a young couple [who] adopt an orphaned child whose dreams – and nightmares – manifest psychically as he sleeps.”

Starring: Kate Bosworth, Annabeth Gish, Thomas Jane & Jacob Tremblay.

As a child, I feared something might be lurking under my bed, ready to latch its hairy claw around my tiny ankle and drag me away into the darkness. With this memory in mind, I decided to watch Under the Bed, directed by Steven C. Miller, because I hoped it would play upon my childhood fears.

Boy…was I wrong.

Instead of coming face-to-face with a fearsome creature, Neal (Jonny Weston) and Paulie (Gattlin Griffin), brothers, battle a man in a demon costume living under their bed. (The costume, crafted from rubber, doesn’t represent nightmares – frankly, it looks cheap and idiotic.)

I understand the “monster” lives under the bed, might spawn from Hell, and has a strange obsession with Neal. What I don’t know, and want to know, is:

  1. Why does the creature want Neal? If it is hungry, why not eat Paulie?
  2. Is the creature hungry, blood-thirsty, or does it want to simply converse with the boys?
  3. How did it find itself living under Neal’s bed? (Did it wander in or fill out an application?)
  4. What the hell is it? (A demon? A monster? The brother of the creature from Pan’s Labyrinth?)

And, if the creature has the potential to rip-off heads in a single motion and burn flesh from bones, why does it resort to simple hand-to-hand combat with Neal at the end?! Isn’t that rather pointless?! (I mean, Mr. Creature, you’ve been following Neal for TWO YEARS – just eat him already!)

Also, I truly believe the director or writer watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone before writing the ending to Under the Bed. The reason? Both movies showcase deceased mothers fighting evil for their children. Harry Potter has motherly love within, and with it, can burn Voldemort’s face; however, Neal must rely upon his mother’s ashes to melt the creature, I guess? (That is another question I want answered: how exactly can ashes destroy the creature?)

Under the Bed oozes with awkwardness – and, most of the time, the awkwardness heightens when Cara (Kelcie Stranahan), Neal’s next-door neighbor, arrives on-screen. I understand the director wished to create a love story between two teenagers; however, it never blossomed, so why not simply delete those weird scenes?!

Besides, Cara is a heartless bitch – her two brothers are slaughtered right in front of her face by an unknown creature, and she doesn’t even bat an eye or shed a tear. Really?! (She seems to be the real monster – a heartless, emotionless monster!)

Overall, I commend Under the Bed’s creativity and ideas – however, it is full of unanswered questions, a man in a latex suit, and an unnecessary, and heartless, character. If those problems were fixed, Under the Bed, directed by Steven C. Miller, could be labeled a decent horror film.

To watch the trailer, click here

A murdered husband, a missing son, dozens of secrets, and time travelers await you in La casa del fin los tiempos, or The House at the End of Time, a Venezuelan horror movie directed by Alejandro Hidalgo.

In 1981, Dulce (Ruddy Rodriguez) is found drenched in her husband’s blood, and Leopoldo (Rosmel Bustamante), her son, is missing. Confused and heartbroken, Dulce is convicted, spending thirty years in a decrepit jail cell until she is placed under house-arrest in her old home. She is plagued by memories and regrets until a local priest (Guillermo Garcia) visits. With his help, Dulce will attempt to unravel the mystery of what happened thirty years ago.

Old Dulce was my favorite character – she was sweet, motherly, and honest. Sure, Young Dulce was motherly, but she didn’t possess the wisdom or practicality that Old Dulce possessed. (And, in my opinion, Young Dulce was annoying.) I understand why Leopoldo would want to spend more time with Old Dulce; her love, after seeing her son after thirty years, was overflowing, and their embraces were the sweetest mother-son hugs ever.

Old Dulce was able to interact with the past (Young Leopoldo, Young Dulce, Juan Jose) and the future (Old Leopoldo) because of her house’s magical ability to transport people through time. Yet I would have enjoyed if the director had focused upon explaining, in further detail, why the house has the ability to time-travel. One of the characters briefly mentioned something about Masons and an entire family disappearing – but then, nothing more.

La casa del fin los tiempos is an emotional film – especially, I think, for mothers. Dulce, for years, grieves for Rodrigo (Hector Cubero), her youngest son, and dwells upon Leopoldo’s disappearance. These scenarios are a mother’s worst nightmare; Dulce’s memories tug on the heartstrings, and leave not a dry eye while watching this film.

Pearls, beautiful drops of the moon, are a continuous theme in La casa del fin los tiempos. When a pearl is presented, I believe the characters realize that no matter what, love will never falter. (For instance, Dulce presents Leopoldo with a pearl; throughout the film, her love only grows stronger, and she never stops searching for him.)

Overall, La casa del fin los tiempos, or The House at the End of Time, was a heart-wrenching horror film; I enjoyed it.

To watch the trailer, click here

An unusual and deadly alphabet (filled with killer grandfathers, mutated badgers, and courtroom zombies) await you in ABCs of Death 2.

I never want to come face-to-face with a badger after watching “B is for Badger,” directed by Julian Gilbey. Peter, a mean-spirited wildlife documentarist, failed to complete his research, seeing as the snarling, hungry badgers were waiting for him while he shot his film. After being ripped apart, Peter was able to end his documentary with one simple word: “Cut.”

Robert Morgan (creator of “The Cat with Hands”), a brilliant animator, submitted, “D is for Deloused.” It is a strange, yet delightful stop-motion tale featuring a giant insect, several decapitated heads, and one creepy-ass teddy-bear creature.

In “M is for Masticate,” directed by Robert Boocheck, one man, clad only in pee-stained underwear, becomes a flesh-eating zombie after using bath salts. This film is a slow-motion adventure…until he begins gorily gnawing a man’s neck. (And I loved the man’s bad-ass contacts; I want them!)

The worst short, in my opinion, was “P is for P-P-P-P-Scary,” directed by Todd Rohal. Three speech-impaired criminals, one dancing man, numerous matches, and one messed-up infant does not represent horror at all.

Other shorts I didn’t care for include: “E is for Equilibrium,” “F is for Falling,” “L is for Legacy,” “O is for Ochlocracy,” “Q is for Questionnaire,” and “V is for Vacation.”

The last few letters, though, redeemed ABCs of Death 2. For instance, “X is for Xylophone,” directed by Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo, was incredibly unsettling. This tale focuses upon a grandmother who kills her young granddaughter for loudly playing a small xylophone. The grandmother, covered in blood and gore, uses her granddaughter’s (leg?) bone and small ribcage to play music. It terrified me.

And “Z is for Zygote,” directed by Chris Nash, was horrifyingly disturbing! A woman doesn’t want her infant to be born until her husband returns – so she keeps it inside of her for THIRTEEN years! The cramped child eventually kills the mother by pushing out all of her organs and things…and it was VERY gross! Ugh!

Overall, ABCs of Death 2 was, uh, annoying, bizarre, confusing, and disturbing.

To watch the trailer, click here.