The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue (2013) Film Review

Posted: April 7, 2015 in Horrendous Horror Movies
Tags: , , , ,

The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue, a mediocre film directed by Mike Bradecich and John LaFlamboy, revolves around two bumbling (and idiotic) brothers who must fight a carnivorous mole-like creature lurking in the basement of their run-down apartment complex.

Let me introduce our unlikely heroes: Marion (Mike Bradecich) and Jarmon (John LaFlamboy) Mugg, two lousy apartment landlords who worship alcohol and allow their building to deteriorate…until they stumble upon the mole-man.

That, my friends, is when shit gets real.

The two brothers put down their whiskey bottle, board up the vents, attend a training course, and purchase deadly shovels in order to protect their tenants from becoming the creature’s next meal. Will they defeat the mole-man, or die humorously trying?

To be honest, I only watched The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue because Robert Englund was in it – he, a marvelous actor, played a devilishly suave “horny bastard.” His character, proficient in dirty-talk and stashing pornographic magazines, was hilarious, and I was disappointed that he didn’t have more screen-time!

But then the humor vanished whenever the Mugg brothers appeared on-screen; continuous slapstick, pot references, and swearing can’t be considered hysterical. (Perhaps try for some actual jokes?!)

I truly disliked this film because it dragged on and on and on and on…I smiled with delight once it ended, and whooped with glee because I had made it out alive after watching this unfunny film.

Their one redeeming quality: a catchy and upbeat song – you can listen to it here.

If you want to waste 90 minutes of your life, then watch The Mole Man of Belmont Avenue – it’s an unfunny movie filled with bumbling morons, pot, porn, and disappearing pets and tenants.

To watch the trailer, click here.

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