Under the Bed (2012) Film Review

Posted: March 18, 2015 in Horrendous Horror Movies
Tags: , , ,

As a child, I feared something might be lurking under my bed, ready to latch its hairy claw around my tiny ankle and drag me away into the darkness. With this memory in mind, I decided to watch Under the Bed, directed by Steven C. Miller, because I hoped it would play upon my childhood fears.

Boy…was I wrong.

Instead of coming face-to-face with a fearsome creature, Neal (Jonny Weston) and Paulie (Gattlin Griffin), brothers, battle a man in a demon costume living under their bed. (The costume, crafted from rubber, doesn’t represent nightmares – frankly, it looks cheap and idiotic.)

I understand the “monster” lives under the bed, might spawn from Hell, and has a strange obsession with Neal. What I don’t know, and want to know, is:

  1. Why does the creature want Neal? If it is hungry, why not eat Paulie?
  2. Is the creature hungry, blood-thirsty, or does it want to simply converse with the boys?
  3. How did it find itself living under Neal’s bed? (Did it wander in or fill out an application?)
  4. What the hell is it? (A demon? A monster? The brother of the creature from Pan’s Labyrinth?)

And, if the creature has the potential to rip-off heads in a single motion and burn flesh from bones, why does it resort to simple hand-to-hand combat with Neal at the end?! Isn’t that rather pointless?! (I mean, Mr. Creature, you’ve been following Neal for TWO YEARS – just eat him already!)

Also, I truly believe the director or writer watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone before writing the ending to Under the Bed. The reason? Both movies showcase deceased mothers fighting evil for their children. Harry Potter has motherly love within, and with it, can burn Voldemort’s face; however, Neal must rely upon his mother’s ashes to melt the creature, I guess? (That is another question I want answered: how exactly can ashes destroy the creature?)

Under the Bed oozes with awkwardness – and, most of the time, the awkwardness heightens when Cara (Kelcie Stranahan), Neal’s next-door neighbor, arrives on-screen. I understand the director wished to create a love story between two teenagers; however, it never blossomed, so why not simply delete those weird scenes?!

Besides, Cara is a heartless bitch – her two brothers are slaughtered right in front of her face by an unknown creature, and she doesn’t even bat an eye or shed a tear. Really?! (She seems to be the real monster – a heartless, emotionless monster!)

Overall, I commend Under the Bed’s creativity and ideas – however, it is full of unanswered questions, a man in a latex suit, and an unnecessary, and heartless, character. If those problems were fixed, Under the Bed, directed by Steven C. Miller, could be labeled a decent horror film.

To watch the trailer, click here

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