Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys (2014) Film Review

Posted: November 12, 2014 in Horrendous Horror Movies
Tags: , , , ,

If you love ravenous lampreys, horrendous acting, and terrible parenting, then, by all means, watch Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys, a creature-feature directed by James Cullen Bressack.

The synopsis, according to IMDB.com, reads: “After chomping through the fish population, thousands of starved lampreys begin attacking the citizens of a sleepy lake town, and the community scrambles to stay alive.”

Yep, this movie consists of nothing but lampreys and blood.

True, it was extremely creative because, I mean, who would have thought about killer lampreys? But this film was incredibly boring because we were shown the creatures way too early. I saw nothing but lampreys…this film became almost painful to watch because it was extremely predictable.

And sure, I can go along with the lampreys attacking people, but when did they achieve the ability to leap through the air, crawl over dry terrain, knock over power lines, and gnaw through metal pipes? If they have these superpowers, why would a mere electrical shock stop them?

I can describe the main family in one word: frustrating. Michael (Jason Brooks), the father, only dwells upon work, and Cate (Shannen Doherty), the mother, never quite knows where her children are. And then…there is Kyle (Yar Koosha), the son, who is the most annoying character in the entire movie. He complains and complains and complains!

But thank goodness for Nicole (Ciara Hanna), the daughter, who isn’t entirely irritating. In fact, she becomes quite the badass with a weed whacker, and she destroys quite a few lampreys! You go, Nicole!

All of the other characters, in my opinion, are horrendous. (By this, I mean that no one shows ANY emotion.) How can one enjoy a movie or feel connect to characters when no one shows emotion?

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys does have some pretty grisly death scenes. I cringed when a lamprey attached itself to a man’s eyeball, and he gruesomely ripped it, and his eyeball, off. Oh, and the toilet scene with Christopher Lloyd was pretty gross, too.

Poor, poor Christopher Lloyd.

If only the Mayor (Christopher Lloyd) had listened to Michael, the town, and numerous lives, might have been spared! I will commend the Mayor, though, seeing as he, unlike the other characters, actually showcased emotion throughout the film!

Overall, Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys was lame.

To watch the trailer, click here

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