Alice in Murderland (2010) Film Review

Posted: September 19, 2014 in Horrendous Horror Movies
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Written, produced, and directed by Dennis Devine, Alice in Murderland is a “horror” film filled to the brim with magical mushrooms, sorority sisters, cleavage, murder, and bitchiness.

It all begins when Alice’s sorority sisters decide to hold her 21st birthday (Alice in Wonderland-themed) in the same house that Alice’s mother was murdered in twenty years ago.

Oh, the sorority sisters…what a, uh, “lovely” bunch. The group includes: Alice (Malerie Grady), the birthday girl; Malory (Marlene Mc’Cohen), Alice’s best friend; Kat (Kelly Kula), an insane bitch; Tiffany (Katie Locke O’Brien), another bitch; Donna (Heath Butler), an airhead; Dee (Jennifer Field), Donna’s friend; Pima (Elizabeth Lam Nguyen), a magical mushroom enthusiast; and Sammantha (Kim Argetsinger), Tiffany’s follower.

But wait…there is a murderer on the prowl, and one by one, the sorority sisters are turning up dead. Will Alice survive her birthday, or will she lose her head?

The murders committed in this film are incredibly cheesy, and no one seems concerned that a killer is running around trying to kill them. An example of this would be when Donna is cornered in the basement by the killer, and instead of screaming or fighting back, she merely says, “You are not a nice person.”

Seriously, Donna? You aren’t going to try to find a weapon and defend yourself? No? You’re just content with throwing a few “hurtful” words at her? Okay.

Since we are discussing Donna, I will mention the most creative part of Alice in Murderland: when Donna is superglued to the toilet. And yes, this brings out my favorite part of horror films: the one-liner. When Tiffany sees Donna stuck to the toilet, she says, “Be sure to stick around.” (Haha.) This scene, apart from seeing Pima run hilariously in the junkyard, has to be one of my favorite parts of the movie.

Even though I did appreciate that scene, there are numerous things I disliked about Alice in Murderland. For one thing, I hated a particular scene. In this scene, Tiffany is conversing with Matt, Alice’s ex-boyfriend, when she reaches down and unties his shoelace. She then says, “Look, your shoelace is untied. I like to please you. Don’t you like to please me?”

I, uh, don’t understand what I am supposed to be learning from this scene. Why did she untie his shoelace? Why didn’t she offer to retie it? And why was Sammantha whisking eggs in the corner of the bedroom? I seriously think this scene should have been deleted because it led absolutely nowhere!

I also despised this movie’s lack of emotion. When the killer is chasing Malory’s uncle and Alice, the uncle, hoping to inspire Alice, says, “You can have a good cry about [this] tomorrow.” What the hell, dude? Do you have no compassion or soul? Alice has just witnessed her friends being murdered, and all you can say is that she can cry tomorrow? Real nice.

Another lack of emotion happens at the end of the film when Alice is reunited with her aunt and Malory. Alice’s aunt asks, “What are you going to do with the [Alice] dress?” Alice replies with, “Burn it.” Casually, the aunt responds, “[Now that] sounds a little extreme.”

Where the hell has the aunt been? Has she not been informed about the numerous murders? Has she not realized that Alice is suffering from emotional trauma? What kind of guardian is Alice being left with?

Oh, and another problem is that Alice cannot do an evil laugh. She really needs some work because I was not convinced that she was either evil or insane.

Overall, Alice in Murderland is a comical movie filled with panties, terrible acting, and cheesy murders.

To watch the trailer, click here

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