The Crying Dead, directed by Hunter Williams, portrays the “terrifying” night that a paranormal reality cast and crew spent in an abandoned hospital (in the middle of nowhere, of course), and one by one, they slowly begin to die.

Chris (Chris Hayes) and Callie (Callie Cameron) are the two characters that make me absolutely despise this movie. Chris, paranormal cast leader, has severe anger issues; he continuously blames other members for “fucking” with him, and yells and screams up a storm. Callie, the skeptic, can be summarized in two words: horrible actress.

I mean, why can’t we EVER have decent characters in a horror film?

This film is also riddled with countless issues. For instance, when Becka (Becka Adams), the producer, goes missing, not one single character bothers to rewind the tapes that have been filming! (Chris even reminds them that if anything happened in the abandoned hospital, the tapes would have caught it. Really? You can’t even both to check the tapes?!)

Another issue revolves around the abandoned hospital’s history; it’s jam-packed! (I am guessing Williams couldn’t decide upon only one storyline.) Here is a complete list (I think) of the hospital’s history:

  • The hospital was used to quarantine tuberculosis patients.
  • Three little girls burned to death in the boiler room.
  • A young man cut up his nurse and threw himself out the window.
  • The hospital performed horrible experiments on patients.

I also wish this film explained why the three little girls were evil, and crawled around. True, I understand why the abused patients would seek revenge, but why the three young girls who were killed in an accidental fire? (Unless it wasn’t an accident?) Come on, Williams! Please try to provide some kind of backstory!

And yes, I already knew I would despise The Crying Dead because it is a “found-footage” film. There are extremely pointless scenes where we only are shown empty hallways and specks of dust…so spooky.

The Crying Dead is horribly horrendous, and Chris would agree because he’s always “fucking serious.”

To watch the trailer, click here.

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